Sunday, March 31, 2024

 "Reasons Why Pentagon Won't Shoot Down Chinese Spy Balloons"

1 April 2024, Copyright 2024 by Michael H. Maggelet


1. Shooting down balloon in sparsley populated Montana or North Dakota may trigger a "near peer" balloon arms race between Montana and North Dakota.

2. Tourists may confuse deflated balloons for obese Lewis and Clark reenactors, buckskinners, and USAF missile officers.

3. Don't want to provoke Putin, nor any Winnie the Pooh balloons.

4. Local ranchers may confuse balloon debris for UFO, much to the detriment of actual UFO crash sites in New Mexico.

5. Gender identity of balloon not confirmed, which may violate numerous equal opportunity guidelines, instructions, and power point presentations.

6. General Milley has not had time to secretly phone his Chinese counterpart to reassure Beijing that the US would not shoot down the balloon, thus altering "strategic recon balloon stability".

7. Shooting down PRC balloon may move "Doomsday Clock" hand closer to midnight, thus negatively influencing Russian, Chinese, Iranian, and North Korean strategic interests.

8. USAF does not have a "Chinese Reconnaissance Balloon" Environmental Impact Statement ready at this time.

9. Joint Chiefs of Staff decided to have Army attempt to shoot down balloon, followed by Navy, and maybe Space Force, thus denying USAF CMSgt JoAnne Bass another medal.

10. Pentagon assured by China that balloon is just a stray from Chinese New Year celebrations, flying over to see relatives in North Dakota near Minot AFB.